Beware the Running Monster

I have never been sporty, I am not coordinated, I have no rhythm, and I can’t touch my toes. I am a useless runner, to the point where my friends are in hysterics when I simply run 10m to a car. But I’m tired of reading Shape and seeing the countless articles about the “amazing” and “unbelievable” benefits of running, or how easy it is and how “anyone can be a runner”, and those suspiciously simple “learn to run 15km in 1 month” plans. I WANT to be a runner, I really do- but it seems that my genetics really are against me. Although, born to an Eastern Province everything father, and a mother who at 50-something smses me daily about her yoga/pilates/aerobics/gym sessions, you would think I would have some sporty genes- but alas, I am useless.  

In fact, I am so useless at running that I have developed a sort of phobia towards it. I just don’t do it, simple as that. Until I got a phone call informing me that my sister has booked a wedding date for next year March, and I couldn’t get the terrifying images of me being the fat bridesmaid out of my head. You know, the one that looks like a cupcake being strangled by a what was a beautiful dress before its delicate design was put to the test by love handles.

So I went online to find these seemingly simple programmes to become a runner. Shape Magazine SA has a really great website, and it didn’t take too long to find some basic programmes (after stumbling along the wedding fitness plan, which only made me more determined). The “Run 5km” is a beginner’s guide to running, starting you off with 3-minute-walk-1-minute-run intervals- it really looks as though it couldn’t be more do-able. But I must admit, the “Walk off 5kgs” programme next to it was very tempting... I enjoy walking, it’s normal and people don’t laugh when I walk. But let’s be honest, those girls in Shape magazine didn’t get those toned bums from walking. And how often do you see a lean, toned, fitness machine in lycra walking along the road? Nope, running it is. But just in case the phobia kicks in again, I have downloaded both programmes. That way when I start getting lazy/scared to run I can force myself to do one of these power hour walks, and once I’m out there it will seem pretty pointless to not be running.

Right, now to the point of this blog. I need encouragement! this way, the minute I stop blogging it means I’ve stopped running- and you need to start shouting at me! My long term goal is to become a pretty decent runner by the time my sister gets married, but for now I just want to get through this 5km challenge. So please help me!


PS- Thanks to Cathy Thorne at www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com for the image which I so crudely photoshopped ;)